cant get enough love

I feel like a stranger in the world that im living in. I go day by day in a weird mood of not having any desire to even get ready in the morning. i dislike school, i dislike work, and i would rather be in my bed reading a good book or relaxing with my family instead of going out. WHO IS THIS PERSON?! Before the Africa Reunion this was me, and to tell you the truth, not being with those people who reminded me WHY i loved my summer so much, is really putting a downer on my life.

Before this last weekend i was living life day by day. Two weeks after i got back from Africa i was fired up, excited for life, but then slowly started losing the pictures of those kids, that place, that i love so dearly. I was discouraged by the way that we live in America. We are selfish, cranky, rude, spoiled rotten, and it was like no one even noticed. I could not stop thinking of all the things that I have that that I take for granted everyday. I hated school.

Then, this weekend came along. I got to go to Kansas City to see my Africa family. I couldn't wait. I seriously counted the days down in my planner at school and had to keep looking at the "four more days" or "2 more days" to keep myself from completely losing it. The three hour drive for two days seeing those people is exactly what i needed. Not only being able to spend time with those amazing amazing people i get to call my family, but just connecting back to why Africa meant so so much to me. What REALLY got me was when we watched the video footage that Wes put together for us. There was footage of us when we were there, the kids singing, us just doing God's work and it completely broke my heart again. Then the words that Shawn said made my life the way i was living it change completely again. "How about Africa 2012? This group right here. I believe we can change the world guys."

And that's it. I cant live everyday sad because i live three or more hours away from my best friends. I cant be angry at the society that we live in and completely shut down. I cant be emotionally unsound that no one else sees the need and the hurt that i saw in Africa. I need to be the person that stays strong and lives every single day trying to make a difference in the world around me.

So that's just it. I need to live everyday as if one day closer to Africa 2012. And that's what im going to try to do. I say try only because waking up this morning knowing that im not going to be seeing my africa family like that for awhile makes me sick to my stomach. haha i know.. pathetic, but i love each and every one of those people soo much. AHHH. AFRICA 2012 BABY. i can NOT wait!